Saturday, 21 May 2016

5 Things I Learned as a Parent This Week (#33)

1.Paying £40 a day for nursery when your kid is too ill to go because of a bug they caught at nursery smarts like a kick in the knackers.

2.6 hours unbroken sleep feels like a gift from the gods.

3.At 4.35am Tellytubbies makes complete sense.

4.The closest thing to dirty talk when you've got kids is your wife suggesting you order a Domino's and eat it in bed.

5.One of the most magical sounds is hearing your partner and kids laughing their head off together in the next room.

Having Kids Is Easy...

Having kids is easy. 

All you have to do is feed them, change them, keep them safe, teach them right from wrong, educate them on manners, ensure they're polite, pay for everything, teach them how to talk, help them with homework, help them move out, cover their university fees, help them move back in, pay for their wedding, approve of their spouse and bite your lip when they make terrible life choices. And after all that, you'll probably have to look after THEIR kids a bit. 

Piece of piss..

I've started a parenting podcast called '5 Things I Learned' and you can get it on iTunes here...

5 Things I Learned as a Parent This Week (#32)

1.When you have kids you start to view sleep in the same way you used to view sex – often thinking about it, not getting enough and happy to do it on the bus.

2.If Eskimos have a thousand words for 'snow' then new parents should have at least a million words for 'tired'.

3.Being a parent is like being a Premier League manager. Full of stress, quick decisions & everyone thinks they could do a better job than you.

4.After a week of sleep more disrupted than a Virgin train service your energy levels will resemble those of a diabetic sloth that’s cutting out caffeine for Lent.

5.It's a REALLY stupid idea to complain to your wife about a sore neck (caused by too many pillows in the hotel) after she's spent the night from hell on her own with two poorly twins.

(Please vote for me in the MAD Blog Awards 2016...you can cast your vote in Best Baby Blog and Best New Blog by clicking here.)

Thursday, 19 May 2016

I'm launching my own podcast!

*EXCITING NEWS KLAXON!!!*

I'm launching my very own podcast!

'Sam Avery: 5 Things I Learned' will be a weekly show where I discuss the five things I've learned as a parent that week, plus interviews with special guest comedians, actors and musicians about their parenting experiences.

I've already got some great interviews recorded and some hugely exciting ones I'm in the process of tying down so watch this space :)

(This podcast will officially be an 'expert-free zone.' Those people have a place but it isn't here...)

I also want to hear from you lot - some of the funniest things I've read have come in the comments section beneath my posts! This podcast is where they'll get some much deserved air-time.

The podcast is now available via iTunes and Podbean. It will be available through Stitcher from next week too.

THE PILOT EPISODE IS AVAILABLE NOW! (Click here) And a new episode will land each week.

Click on the link to listen to the pilot episode and SUBSCRIBE so that you never miss a show!

If you've never downloaded / listened to a podcast before and aren't sure what to do, comment below and I'll talk you through it. It's dead easy. Likewise if you have any problems getting hold of it for whatever reason.

Thanks for reading, sharing and liking the blogs over the last year. I really appreciate it. They will continue as always and I hope you can join me in this exciting new adventure.

Sam x