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Thursday, 30 April 2015

Day 10 - They Call Me Mellow Yellow

In the original Doomsday Book of 1086 the handwriting gets worse as you progress due to the writer getting knackered towards the end. The same will definitely happen with the spelling and grammar in this blog at some point, so thanks in advance for turning a blind eye.

I really didn’t think I could write this today. Not through tiredness (although I’m sure that’ll come) but the last week’s events have really caught up on me. Dashing between hospitals to see each son – neither critical but neither ready to come home – has sucked all the enthusiasm from me.

We were buzzing earlier as we thought we were on the verge of taking Ben home but a deflected last minute equalizer from Jaundice United has taken it to a replay. So we’re stuck here till tomorrow at the earliest and Ben is back under the baby sunbed. I think that’s the technical term.

To be fair, he does look quite yellow. It’s hard to look at him without humming the music to The Simpsons. Zac is doing well though – hopefully he’ll be out in a couple of days so we can start the life we’ve been excited about for months.

But I know we’re the lucky ones. We’ve met numerous parents in both hospitals with stories far too tragic to share in detail on here. That’s when the guilt kicks in - why should I be down? What have we got to feel bad about?

Maybe I am just tired.

At least we’ve got Ben in our room now. I always wondered how I’d cope looking after my own child for the first night. The answer is badly.

I couldn’t stop watching over him and when he jolted his head from left to right, planting his head into the side of his cot like an angry Sunday league centre half going up for a corner I went from nought to panic in a nanosecond.  Obviously It didn’t bother him in the slightest, I think he might have enjoyed it as he did it again. I decided to move him away from the side before he completed his hatrick.

The little sleep we got last night was lighter than Ryvita – every gurgle sounded like he was choking or eating his own head – me jumping out of bed to see him lying there having a great time. He was just seeing what he could do with his brand new face, like he was checking it out in the shop before putting down a deposit.

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

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Read from the beginning here.


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