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Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Day Minus 1 - The Night Before Birth

My wife is pregnant with identical twin boys. We go to get induced tomorrow.

I thought I’d write about our experiences with all that free time I’m sure to have in between nappies and panic attacks. 

So here goes - I’m shitting it.

Not about becoming a dad – I’m 36 and this is exactly what we want – it’s the birth and the aftermath that is suddenly freaking me out. We found out at 20 weeks that one of our boys needs an operation the day after he’s born. It’s not an emergency, just ‘a bit of plumbing’ we’ve been told as without it he won’t be able to feed himself. We’ve met the surgeons and the pediatrician and they’ve all put our minds at rest, but now it’s so close it’s evolved from a concept into something very real.

We've also faced the repeated question that parents of multiple births constantly get from complete strangers:

"Was it spontaneous?"

Firstly, that's none of their business and secondly, how do you answer that question to a random person in the street?

"Spontaneous? I'll be honest madam, it took a good bottle and a half of cheap wine on an empty stomach just to get her upstairs and even then some mightily convincing bullshit on my part that the Sky+ box had broke just to turn the telly off. After some drunken (her) and bad breath (me) old skool snogging she finally muttered those 3 magic words. Go on then..."

We’ve had a scan every fortnight because they’re twins sharing a placenta. We’ve bought 2 cots, 2 Moses baskets, 2 car seats, enough nappies to open our own outlet village and a pram that is bigger than most cars. We’ve got the nursery ready, had the old bathroom ripped out and a new one fitted, and we’ve bought all the cute little clothes, including some ace Converse-style booties that I would definitely wear if they came in my size.

Technically, we’re ready.

But neither of us can sleep and conversation is difficult. I get nervous enough when guests are coming to stay for the weekend, and they don’t tend to stay for 18 years. They also don't tend to arrive via my wife's vagina.

Here goes nothing.

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Lynn Gerrard said...

Few could make the procedure of being induced as entertaining as you have! And this is from someone still suffering from post natal depression 36 years after her first born was induced!

As for the question of 'spontaneity'....what a thing to ask! Maybe you should have returned with "and what about your kids...natural or turkey baster?"

Great post!! Look forward to reading more!

Karen Twiny said...

OK so that was minus one and you are now on day 29 (I think) so I am playing catch up. Thank you for tweeting me last night to tell me about your blog. I should be getting my front room ready to celebrate as my twin boys birthday (who are 5) tomorrow. But instead (as I wait for them both to fall asleep) I have started to read your blog. Its going to be a long night.....

William Braylen said...

Pink is not my shading. Particularly when it comes as a cutback slip. There's an entire ton of pain from the current monetary emergency, not slightest of which is a bedlam of ailments in our working environment with cutback at the front line. Get ready for the operating room

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