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Wednesday, 14 October 2015

The Secret Diary of a 6 Month Old.

MONDAY
Today was brilliant – I cried all afternoon and refused to nap. Then did a wee in my cot so they had to change all the sheets. Can’t wait for tomorrow.

TUESDAY
Tried the crying thing again but accidentally fell asleep for three hours and woke up feeling great. Gutted.

WEDNESDAY
Had some proper food today. Don’t like chewing for myself though so as a protest I spat most of it onto the floor. Take that, big people.

THURSDAY
Managed to shove my hand right down my throat and made myself do a really weird cough that felt quite bad. Did it again straight after just to check. Felt bad again. Will try it loads tomorrow.

FRIDAY
Left a tiny bit of sick behind the sofa. They won’t find that for months. Fight the power!

SATURDAY
Had some fish for dinner. Quite enjoyed it but haven’t worked out how to tell my face yet so looked like I hated it. Then threw up this smelly fishy puke all over my sleepsuit so they put me in the bath. Then pooed in the bath so they got me out very quickly while making lots of noise and I went to bed still smelling a bit fishy but feeling very happy.

SUNDAY
Pooed in the bath again. On purpose this time. It just feels so natural. Big people went crazy again, you’d think someone took their dummy out. Don't know what all the fuss is about. 


I'm a stand up comic and new dad to twins. You can click here to follow me on Facebook where I post all my blogs, memes and other blatherings about parenthood. (Or go to the top right of this page) 

5 comments:

Michael D. Richmond said...

It just feels so natural. Big people went crazy again, you’d think someone took their dummy out. Liked the post... thanks ..

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