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Thursday, 19 November 2015

The Secret Diary of a 7 Month Old (Part 7)

MONDAY
More visitors today. One of them had the worst breath and kept kissing me on the cheek. Puked right down his jumper sleeve. He won’t come near me again in a hurry.

TUESDAY
Still haven’t pooed. Been about four days now. I’m sure this isn’t right. I should probably speak to someone.

WEDNESDAY
Managed to store some food in my neck folds for a snack later. They’ll never find it there.

THURSDAY
Woke up dead early this morning singing. Everyone got out of bed. I went straight back to sleep. Who doesn’t love early mornings?

FRIDAY
MY TOOTH! IT’S HERE! Thank god the pain is over and I can just get on with my life. Celebrated by putting stuff in my mouth all day.

SATURDAY
Big people fed me but then went on to feed themselves. Seemed really selfish to me. I kept opening my mouth really wide but they wouldn’t share. Good job I stashed some food in my neck again.

SUNDAY
Got taken out and put in a massive bath today with loads of other people. They dunked my head under the water which was horrible. Wanted to cry but didn’t. They dunked me again. I cried. They dunked me again which made me finally do a poo I thought would never end. They didn’t dunk me again. We went home.

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