'Hilarious' DAILY MAIL 'Very entertaining' SUNDAY TIMES 'Amazing and brutally honest...brilliant' THE LAD BIBLE

'A gifted storyteller...absorbing and very funny' THE LIST 'Destined for bigger things' CHORTLE

Friday, 8 January 2016

The Secret Diary of an 8 Month Old (Part 11)

MONDAY
One of my fingers seems to have disappeared from my hand and popped up between my legs. I've tried pulling it back but it won't budge. Will try again tomorrow.

TUESDAY
I stored some food in my neck ages ago and now I can't find it. I know it's there because it's starting to stink.

WEDNESDAY
Pulled on that rogue finger again but it seems happy where it is. Beginning to think the big people moved it there because they freak out whenever I try to move it back.

THURSDAY
Met another baby today. Normally not fussed but liked this one. Made me feel a bit funny. Like when I've had milk and not burped.

FRIDAY
Today was a very snotty day. It was all over my face and in my mouth. I didn't mind though. If that was on a spoon I reckon I'd eat that stuff.

SATURDAY
Saw the other baby again today. We had a great wriggle and then threw up on each other. It was brill.

SUNDAY
Got shoved on the knee of this fat dude in a red suit today. His beard looked fake and his breath smelt like my neck. Cried my head off and the big people took a photo! I'll never understand this place.

To be continued...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

In 1944, one year afore the war ended, Wilsdorf wife tragically died. Wilsdorf was actual anxious that due to the massive advance of replica watches uk his aggregation and with the United States assuming absorption due to his alms appear the captured servicemen, that his hard-earned money would artlessly go into the pockets of already affluent investors should the aggregation anytime go public. To rolex replica anticipate such a affair from occurring, he accustomed the Hans Wilsdorf Foundation and larboard all of his shares to the alms to ensure that at atomic a allocation the company’s assets would go to accommodating initiatives. To this actual day rolex replica is abreast endemic and it’s buying lays in assurance with the Hans Wilsdorf Foundation. Admitting its size, Rolex does not barter about on any banal market.