1.Toddlers have a 'sweet spot' for napping when they're just sleepy enough but not overtired. That 'sweet spot' lasts approximately fifteen seconds.
2.No matter how exhausted I am during the day, the second the kids go down I suddenly have more energy than a puppy with an amphetamine issue.
3."I'm gonna have to go mate, my teat's leaking" is a terrible way for a man to end a phone call.
4.If you have porridge stains on your crotch nobody sits next to you on the bus.
5.Watching your son crawl over to the telly so he can wave at the contestants on 'The Chase' may cause you to melt.